I am currently waiting for some of my old videos to upload to my new YouTube account, so figured I'd touch on a topic that has arisen due to the current social climate.  I should be finishing my other unfinished blog posts during this time, but I was eager to translate these thoughts into words.

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Living isolated from family and friends in downtown Pittsburgh, PA for a roughly a year has opened my eyes to a number of things - my own emotions, aspirations, city life, global politics, the economy, human differences, and much more.  At the time of this writing, we are currently in the midst of civil unrest caused by the death of an individual captured on camera and circulated across the internet.  The previous sentence is the catalyst for this writing.

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The human brain is only capable of processing the information it's exposed to through external inputs.  Thus, it is essentially impossible to formulate "the right" opinions and reactions to issues on a global or even community level.  We are pushing 8 billion humans on earth.  This fact alone gives rise to googloplexes of external stimuli and trillions of brain-to-brain interactions.  Despite this, each brain is instinctually driven to process as much of it as possible in order to create broad understandings of its reality.  The introduction of the internet and a "global brain" multiplies the stimuli in a way that far surpasses our individual brain's capacity.  This paragraph is simply an introduction and a "disclaimer" to prime the reader (you) for my next few opinions - they're simply opinions based on my own brain's external stimuli.

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Looking back at my early life, I didn't always have a broad respect for all humans that I am working to improve on presently.  I can admit that I regret how I treated some of my elders and even peers growing up.  Although this will be an ongoing learning process until my brain is no longer active, I do think I have attained a relatively advanced level of general human respect.

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It's difficult to respect everyone around us, but constant improvement is vastly important for the progression of the world.  Regardless of first impressions, I try to maintain a level of respect I would wish others to provide to me.  Ever noticed how hard it is to collaborate with someone without giving them a chance?  Or where an interaction leads after a rude/careless first encounter?

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I see two major issues, (1) the variance between each individual's specific definition of respect and (2) the nature and quantity of data required to formulate that definition of respect.  I guess the broad nature of these factors forces me to only discuss what I believe is my personal most correct definition of respect.

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Respect for others' personal space.

No matter who you are or where you are, I don't think you can ever go wrong respecting someone's personal physical space.  Even with friends and family, I try to keep at least a few feet between me and the humans around me.  This non-verbal communication goes a long way when it comes to the comfort of a person in a social situation.  Granted, more intimate closeness is required with a partner, greetings (hugs/handshakes), friendly joking, riding the bus/airplane, or attending a public event, but I still try to respect other peoples' space in those situations. 

I also try to avoid prolonged eye contact with other humans unless they are clearly trying to engage with me.  Prolonged eye contact can cause discomfort for one or both parties.  I also notice that people can still sense they are being looked at even if they do not return the eye contact.  How many times have you felt uncomfortable knowing someone is looking at you?  One of my techniques to alleviate this is by making eye contact with "the looker" and non-verbally requesting that they cease fire.  Although momentarily uncomfortable, this is normally an effective technique unless I sense "the looker" is indicating malign.  In that case, I do not use this technique.  Often, someone staring is unaware of the discomfort they're causing, so a quick non-verbal "I see you looking and it's weird" is just the polite nudge someone needs to realize their inadvertent actions.

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Communication (verbal and non).

We were granted a powerful gift of language, so why not use it to the fullest extent?  A smile and a "hello, how are you" with positive tone is one of the most powerful combinations of verbal and non-verbal language use on earth.  If you want to engage someone, or they want to engage you, it's always a safe first move to deploy this age old technique.  Although possibly laborious in some social situations, I try to make a conscious effort to do this as often as possible.

I've also noticed that how someone dresses and carries themselves can have a massive influence on the positivity of an interaction.  Again, this is difficult because of differing styles and a myriad of other factors, but I try to tend towards dressing as neutrally as possible while still expressing my personal sense of style.

During verbal communication, we've all experienced times when we would like to say something, but choose not to in order to maintain a certain effectiveness of an interaction.  I do my best to leave opinions out of conversation unless I'm asked for one.  Even then, I am careful to express only the necessary information.  That's one of the reasons I enjoy this "blog" outlet so much - it's only available to someone who is "asking" or looking for my opinions.

 

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Politeness.

Again, this is all about an individual's definition of the word, but I think we can identify some rules of thumb here too.

Use "thank you" and "please" as often as possible regardless of whether you actually feel that way.  Throw out complements even if you don't feel comfortable doing so.  Complements are not always a good move, but I have found that even if they don't feel completely truthful, they are effective in creating a sense of self-worth and positivity during a human-to-human encounter.

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One of the most difficult situations to implement respect is during an encounter with an authoritative figure.  All too often, someone's position or authoritative status may not be universally acknowledged.  This is when our ability to implement self-discipline is most important.

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I also do my best to continue to respect others after they have made me feel disrespected.  I think this practice has a long-term positive impact on my life, the other person's life, and the overall progression of the world.  Short term pain, long term gain.  An eye for an eye makes the world blind.

 

To conclude, let's reiterate that these thoughts are only based on my own brain's external stimuli and everyone will be different.

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Let's see what positive long (and short) term gains we can achieve from following this simple guidance on respect :)

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Last updated 6.13.20 - PJ

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